My anxiety is a huge struggle for me. I have my normal anxiety when I’m a little on edge which is totally manageable. I also have anxiety that is accompanied by panic attacks that is seldom. But it’s when I anxiety hits the peak when it becomes difficult.
When this happens I go from 0 to 180 in an instant. I can no longer control my tone or expressions. My senses get overloaded and everything gets heightened. Sounds get louder, everything is harsh to touch, and I get nauseous from smells. Things get unbearable.
My fuse gets so short during these times that I cant even stand myself. I completely feel bad for those around me that have to deal with it, but it’s such a struggle for me that I know I just need to make it out for myself. I have apologized to my kids so many times for getting angry at every little thing. It’s hard to be a single parent with no one to help so I can take a break from it all to calm down.
Living with this anxiety and having triggers is hard. I want to scream, throw things or do something reckless. But I have to continue to control myself the best I can still everyday, so this anger and irritability just continues for a while. It takes up energy and taints memories that are being made. It’s hard to do it all alone. I know I am not the only one, so I understand what you are going through. I get it.
It is tough being a single mother. I have a friend Christina who is a single mother and her son is her world. She does a great job parenting. I think you are doing a great job parenting. No one is perfect and we all are human. Don’t pick on yourself or feel bad you are trying hard and I think you are doing a great job.
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Thank you
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your welcome the fact you write out your problems and difficulty parenting you really care about your children and thinking of them you fall in one of the great moms ever
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