Parenting a Difficult child

My 7 year old is diagnosed with ADHD and Sensory processing disorder. At 4 he got these diagnosis and was borderline autistic. At 2 we were told to get him anger management therapy, but no one sees that young of an age.

I did the best I could. I researched different things and how to cope with it all. Believe me it’s still a learning game after 5 years. His father has always been against the diagnosis and really anything I would tell him. So I was limited in everything I could do for my son.

I tell you all this because man is it hard to parent a difficult child. With my anxiety and depression I get irritable and I cant help it either. So double whammy.

Things started to get rough after we separated because the consistency and structure varied between households and both my kids being so young cant fully understand why mommy and daddy are not together. Which is completely understandable. So I try to do my best. I love them, talk to them and I try to make the best and most effective decisions based on knowing how their father is.

After spending the summer with their father, my son comes back in an emotion wreck. He also was put on a medication holiday due to weight lose so no meds all summer either. So he comes back right before school starts, mind you during the summer we had a lot of outbursts and emotional regulation problems also. So trying to parent was even more difficult.

I have been there with the screaming at the top of their lungs. I have been there when they cry so much they cant breath. I have been there when it all doesnt make sense why they are reacting so over the top. I have been there when they say thing just to hurt you and everyone else. I have been there when they dont want you around and yell to go away. I have been there.

I might have a problem with trying to control situations (yay for my OCD and anxiety), but I think they need to know you are still their for them no matter what. Even in the most of the storm I tell him I love him and I will be here no matter what. I tell him when he is ready to talk we can talk. After years of going through it all, I feel like I have finally conquered a mountain now.

His medication stopped being as effective and how I know this is because his anger slowly came back. The other night it was full fledge back to where we were after the summer before medication. He was screaming and hitting the wall and flinging himself on his bed. I laid there. Nothing more. He told me to go away. I told him I was in there to make sure he stayed safe and that I was there in he needed me. After a little bit he calmed down some because of a distraction so I laid in my bed with his brother. Maybe 10 min later he comes in to my bed and cuddles me and goes to sleep.

That was a huge moment for me. After all the hurtful things he said to try to break me down, he knew he could still come get comfort with me. I felt so proud.

Parenting a difficult child and one that is trying to be like his big brother is hard. I am a single parent, so it’s just me. No one to tag team the melt downs or anything else. But I made it over this mountain.